Relaymedia

Christian Lightbulb Jokes

( [email protected] ) Dec 12, 2005 04:15 PM EST

1. How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? One, since his/her hands are in the air anyway.

2. How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.

3. How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb? 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the lightbulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the lightbulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.

4. How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They always use candles instead.

5. How many evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb? Evangelicals do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and hope the light bulb will decide to change itself.

6. How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But they are still in darkness.

7. How many Brethren does it take to change a light bulb? Change?????

8. How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb? 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.

9. How many TV evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.

10. How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.

11. How many Calvanists does it take to change a light bulb? None. If God wants it changed He will do it Himself.

12. How many charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to cast it out and two to catch it when it falls.