Josh and Anna Duggar Update: Her 'Heart's Desire' Is To Forgive Josh for Infidelity, Porn Addiction, See Marriage Restored

Dec 21, 2015 11:03 AM EST

Anna Duggar has revealed she is praying that God will give her the grace to forgive her husband, Josh Duggar, for his infidelity, as her "heart's desire" is to see her marriage restored.

During Sunday's installment of the 19 Kids and Counting spinoff, Jill & Jessa: Counting On, the 27-year-old mother-of-four opened up for the first time about her difficult year.

In May, it was revealed that Josh, also 27, had molested five underage girls when he was teen -- including two of his own sisters.

"I knew about this long before it hit the press," Anna said of the reports, explaining that Josh was "very detailed and very honest" with her parents when they visited Arkansas for the first time and met his family.

However, having to relive this information "was like ripping open an old wound," she emphasized.

A few months after the resulting cancellation of 19 Kids and Counting and Josh's resignation from his position at the Family Research Council, the couple's fourth child, Meredith Grace was born, providing them with a new sense of hope.

However, that hope was short-lived, as just a few weeks later Josh confessed to struggling with a pornography addiction and infidelity amid reports he had active accounts on Ashley Madison, a website created to facilitate adulterous affairs.  

"It felt like a bad dream," Anna tearfully told the camera, explaining that her first reaction was denial. "It's such a betrayal for a spouse for through what we're walking through and it was hard."

Despite her heartbreak, Anna said she knew she couldn't act based on her emotions because she'd "turn a mess into a disaster." Instead, she clung to her faith and asked God to help her figure out how to respond.

After news of Josh's infidelity broke, he announced that he was entering a faith-based rehab for treatment, where he still remains. Anna revealed that while she supported his decision, she was forced to move in with her in-laws to help care for her newborn and three young children.

When asked what her future plans are for her marriage, Anna hesitated before stating, "In my heart, when I got married, I vowed to God first and then to Joshua, 'For better or for worse. 'Til death do we part. I pray that through all of this that I would be an extension of God's love to Joshua, that I would love him and forgive him and wait patiently and allow God to work through our hearts."

"My prayer and my heart's desire is for our marriage to be restored," she added.

Two of Anna's sisters-in-law, Jana and Joy-Anna, also praised Anna's strength and determination during this difficult time.

"I'm really amazed by the strength that God has given Anna and just how she's going through all of this and having a good attitude about it all even though it's so hard and you know it hurts really bad," Joy-Anna acknowledged.

The third and final episode of Jill & Jessa: Counting On airs Sunday at 9 p.m. ET on TLC.