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Rory Feek Finds Healing Watching Home Videos of Joey Feek Before Cancer Diagnosis: 'They Are a Gift from Heaven'

( [email protected] ) May 27, 2016 11:50 AM EDT
As Christian country star Rory Feek adjusts to life without his wife and music partner, Joey, he has found "healing" in watching home videos of her, which he refers to as a "gift from Heaven."
Joey Feek seen with her daughter, Indiana. Rory Feek, This Life I Live

As Christian country star Rory Feek adjusts to life without his wife and music partner, Joey, he has found "healing" in watching home videos of her, which he refers to as a "gift from Heaven."

In a recent blog post, Rory, 51, candidly reveals that he has been struggling to re-capture the memories of the Joey he fell in love with years ago, when she was "alive and in full bloom." In March, Joey passed away after a lengthy battle with cervical cancer, which, in her final days, robbed her of her ability to hold the couple's' daughter, Indiana.

"I couldn't remember Joey before that time. I could not remember her alive. All of the pictures on our mantle and music videos online seemed like something from a photo album. Ours I guess. But long ago," he writes.

In 2014, for no real reason, Rory decided to start filming their day-to-day life, raising their daughter, planting a garden and living normally.

"Joey and I believed that God was going to give us a great story, and we wanted to film it, so we could look back and remember that year," he says. "We thought the story was going to be about taking time off from our music careers. About homesteading and growing a community garden with our neighbors. And about having a new baby and raising her. Yes, those things are part of the story, but there was so much more that happened. So, so much more."

While watching those videos recently , Rory found his wife again, the Joey he originally fell in love with; the one he wanted to remember.

"In full-color on the big screen of my iMac, Joey became alive again ... filled with love and joy and hope and passion for me and for the life God had given us," he continues.

The singer shared part of the video footage, where Joey is seen giving him a haircut a week or two after Indiana's birth in 2014. Rory revealed that the clip makes him cry and laugh. "It's a moment in time, that stands still. A moment that remains, even though time has moved on," he says.

"Life was perfect that day. So was Joey," he adds. "Completely unaware of the difficult news that was in store for her in just a few weeks, and the beautiful, tragic end that would come 18 months later. And unaware also that her story would be shared and followed by millions of people who would love and pray for her and for us."

"It's a moment in time, that stands still."

Life continues to go on for the Feeks: Recently, Rory shared a video of Indy, who has Down syndrome, trying out her new walker on Facebook.

"Indy loved getting to try a new 'walker' today in therapy," wrote Rory.

Indiana Feek
(Photo: Facebook/Rory Feek)
Indy Feek, 2, tries out her new wheelchair.

As he and Indy adjust to life without Joey, Rory continues to look back on his marriage, thanking God for 14 years he was given with his wife.

"I still have much, much more of our lives to look through. A thousand little clips to watch and try to piece together. And I will get to see Joey live through it all," he says. "Whatever it is, it's a gift from heaven for me these days."

The couple's final album, Hymns That Are Important to Us, debuted at No. 1 on both the Top Country Albums chart and Top Christian Albums chart upon its release.