A white elephant, back in the olden days, was more or less a financial black hole that delivers shame and a slow death to you and your whole family. After all, who can refuse a gift from the king under the pain of death? Not only that, maintaining a white elephant is no mean feat, and sooner or later, you and your whole family will be sold into slavery. Well, the modern day white elephant might not be a warm blooded mammal that is a zoo attraction due to its albino color, and neither will most examples make you a bankrupt, but it is normally used to describe a useless gift. I know that trying to shop around for Christmas gifts can be an extremely stressful period, and the older you get, the more difficult it becomes since you would have to keep track as to what you have given to whom in years past. In your haste and frazzled nerves, here is a list of white elephant gifts that it would be best to avoid, unless you do not mind losing that friendship or severing that family tie as the recipient might feel insulted.
Prescription Coffee Mug
The name of this particular coffee mug says it all -- it looks just like any other generic prescription bottle out there. Perhaps coffee is just what the doctor ordered for those who are good natured, but not too many people are going to appreciate the humor in this $12.99 mug. If you were to check out the words printed on this mug, it is full of laughs with mention about dosage instructions and refills.
Fanny Bank Farting Coin Drop Bank
The $14.99 Fanny Bank Farting Coin Drop Bank is definitely not something you would give to a stoic, military family. After all, discipline of the highest order needs to be maintained at all times, and farts are not tolerated. Even more so when the design of this coin bank resembles a butt that you will drop the coin into. Doing so will let one rip, and it is definitely an embarrassment to many. Perhaps this is the first coin bank in the world that will come under the hammer, literally, even before a single coin is dropped.
World’s Largest Word Search Puzzle Shower Curtain
Now this $14.99 World’s Largest Word Search Puzzle Shower Curtain is definitely something you would have to avoid. It does play the devil's advocate in being an actual white elephant gift since you would be spending more than the usual amount of time in the shower trying to solve whatever clues that are given. Considering the shower curtain stretches across 6 feet in length, you would definitely leave the shower on far longer than expected, as money goes down the drain literally. Greenpeace activists will frown upon this gift for sure.
6 Pack Beer Holster
If there is one thing that you should know about your recipient, it would be this: is he/she a recovering alcoholic? Best to get the answer to that question before purchasing the $10.99 6 Pack Beer Holster. After all, it will be able to let one tote around half a dozen packs of beer wherever the wearer goes, something which is the exact opposite of what a recovering alcoholic would do.
There are many other zany gifts out there this Christmas season, but it is best to make sure you have a dose of common sense to go with your purchases.