John David and Joseph Duggar Tearfully Bids Goodbye To ‘Role Model’ Brother, Josh

Dec 16, 2015 01:30 PM EST

Though it was mostly the female members of the Duggar family who took the spotlight after the very public exposure of eldest Duggar and 19 Kids and Counting star Josh Duggar, the new TLC special features Josh's younger brother speaking up on the scandal that rocked their family.

Both John-David, 25, and Joseph Duggar, 20, have featured in the TLC special Jill & Jessa: Counting On and have spoken up about their shock and the painful decision to turn their backs on the eldest Duggar brother.

MSN reports that both siblings say they never realized that Josh could live such a secret life and that they no longer wished to look up to him as a role model.

"After everything started to settle down from the first release of stuff in the news about Josh, we got word of a second thing that we had no clue about," John-David says in the interview.

The second eldest Duggar son described how the series of shocking revelations knocked them down and demoralized the family one after another.

Although the Duggar brothers say nothing different from what the rest of the Duggar family members have already said, what is more heart wrenching is the obvious pain on their faces, and the sad eyes close to tears as they speak to the camera during the interview.

It was apparent that Anna was not the only member of the family who was feeling betrayed.

In describing the extent of his shock, the younger Duggar says:"I don't think there's any way any of us would have known that my brother was living such a secret life," says Joseph. "It broke my heart. Whenever somebody you respect the most is willing to get up and proclaim what we believe as Christians, about being true to your wife, you'd never think that that's the person who's involved in it."

The most painful statement, had Josh the opportunity to hear it, came from John-David: "I always wanted to be like him. But one of the toughest things I had to tell my older brother was, I don't want to be like you anymore."

However, John-David sees that this situation calls for him as stepping up to the plate and taking the place of his older brother as the new leader and role model for the younger generation of Duggar children. "It's a big load. It's a big weight upon me now," he says.

Despite the extreme disappointment, it seems that some people are still behind Josh all the way. Entertainment Tonight reports that estranged wife Anna admits that she still writes letters to her husband while he is away in rehab.