Mother's Day comes with mixed emotions for some mothers who face the observance in a solo capacity. It's probably the one day of the year that single mothers would like to turn over life's reins to someone else so they can step back, relax and simply appreciate. For women who experienced being "married moms" to then becoming "single moms," due to death or divorce, there some steps to take to enhance the positive, pleasant outcomes from the holiday.
Single parenthood, by definition, means being the sole adult responsible for younger creatures devoid of the awareness of others. One of the responsibilities of parenting is to guide children to consider their relationship with others and the world around them. Ideally, in a two-parent family, dad would step up to this duty on Mother's Day as Mom would on Father's Day, out of respect for each other, as well as modeling values to the children, said Catie Hayes, editor of WomanLinks.
"So what happens when your family isn't of the ideal variety? What happens when you're the only one modeling respect to the kids?" posed Hayes.
She suggests establishing new rules, such as the following:
- Enlist the help of girlfriends, sisters, neighbors, parents (can you help Joey make a card/bake some cookies/pick out a small gift?).
- Tell the kids you, as a family, are going out to dinner/to the park/to a movie to celebrate Mother's Day (sure, you foot the bill, but you model self-respect to the kids, say what you need, and get an outing in one fell swoop).
- Arrange a plant swap with friends, as a cost-free way to repopulate your garden and build something of beauty for yourself.
- Enlist the kids' help in making pampering things for you.
- Use money saved on not buying junk food for a week and spend it one something frivolous just to give yourself pleasure, such as a few bottles of nail polish, a bouquet of flowers, a journal, new writing paper or a shade of lipstick your mother would never let you wear.
Tips for single moms from Family Share are all about setting a new routine: Take them shopping to buy you a special card and gift. Realign your expectations and create new ways to help prepare your kids for Mother's Day. Your kids don't want to feel like they missed Mother's Day, just as much as you don't want to miss being celebrated for all that you do.
Depending on the ages of children, single mothers can:
- Give your kids a few dollars, and let them pick out a special card at the store.
- Buy groceries to allow them to fix you a special dinner.
- Teach them how to give you a nice back massage.
The story of one single mother's life is trending on social media this week, due to her perservance.
Shortly after reports of the death of Afeni Shakur-Davis, mother of late rapper Tupac "2Pac" Shakur, surfaced, the hashtag #DearMama began trending on Twitter.
"Dear Mama" was the lead single for Shakur's 1995 album "Me Against the World." The song details the mother and son's rocky relationship, Shakur-Davis' drug addiction and 2Ppac's appreciation for her. Tupac rapped: "And even as a crack fiend, mama, you always was a black queen, mama. I finally understand. For a woman, it ain't easy trying to raise a man."
The single was a one of Tupac's biggest hits, peaking at no. 9 on the Billboard Hot 100.
"Dear Mama" resurfaces around Mother's Day each year, but news of Shakur-Davis' death makes revisiting the popular single bittersweet. Shakur-Davis died on Monday in California. She was 69 years old.
In 1997, Tupac was shot multiple times after leaving an event in Las Vegas. The 25-year-old died six days later. His killing remains unsolved, reports WHIO.
Following are three Bible verses that can inspire single mothers:
Philippians 4:13 -- "I can do all this through him who gives me strength."
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 -- "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."
James 1:2-4 -- "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."