Christian Woman Shares Heartbreaking Story about Being Daughter of Incest Rape, Finds Strength to Forgive

Jun 09, 2015 01:19 PM EDT

A pro-life Christian activist named Rowena Slusser of Savethe1 has shared a deeply personal story, disclosing that she was born out of a rape that occurred between her father and her sister. She argued that had her sister, who was also her mother, went through with an abortion, she would not exist today.

Slusser's story, which was posted on Live Site News, focused on the various abuses her mother, Becca, and Slusser endured under their father, Ruben. One doctor even tried to offer Becca an abortion to get rid of the baby, given that the person would be the result of incest.

"Despite the pressure to abort, once my mom knew she was pregnant, she understood that a life was growing inside of her which she could not kill, and so, she refused the abortion and chose to bring me to birth," Slusser wrote. "When I was born, she said she loved me like a baby doll, but did not know how to care for me."

Slusser added that she did not know about her origins until she was around 4 years old.

"Her parents, Ruben and Rosa, raised me as their own until I was around 4 years old," Slusser wrote. "At that time, Becca told me that she was my mom. Since I didn't believe her, I asked Ruben and Rosa if this was true, and they confirmed for me that it was indeed true - they said that what Becca said was correct and that she really was my mom. I remember feeling confused."

To avoid confusion, Slusser referred to her grandmother, Rosa, as "mom or mamma," and Becca, her real mother, would be called "Becky or mother."

"I remember feeling weird in public because Becca was my sister to the public," Slusser wrote. "Overall, I still saw Becca as my sister and friend, even though I knew she was my mom."

According to Slusser, she even suffered sexual abuse from her father until she was 10 years old.

"He was a big man (350+ lbs.) and he was violent, so I was terrified of him. I felt so dirty, defiled and ashamed," Slusser wrote. "There are so many memories of the sexual abuse and a great deal of pain in recounting any of them."

Slusser noted that her mother tried to protect her whenever possible. One day, her mother decided to escape from the abusive household.

"Within a couple of months after moving, my mom told me the truth - that my father had sexually abused her as well, and that I was a result of that abuse," Slusser wrote. "It didn't shock me because I had a feeling he had been doing the same things to her, but I definitely felt confused, gross, ashamed, and worthless, and wondered how my mother could really love me."

However, Slusser then suffered a new round of sexual abuse, this time her step-father. Her mother and step-father met at church.

"Shortly after my 11th birthday, he talked my mom into letting me spend the night with him and his girls, and she took his youngest son," Slusser wrote. "That night, my future step-father sexually abused me. I tried to tell my mom, but the church we were going to gave her bad advice, and they blamed me."

Slusser noted that the step-father abused her until she was 16 years old, getting her pregnant at one point. Although her step-father thought of forcing her to have an abortion, she ended up having a miscarriage.

"He was completely warped and told me strange things such as that he wanted to marry me and wanted me to raise my younger sisters and brother," Slusser wrote. "I prayed for a way out! I thought that I would suffocate from the inside and out."

According to Slusser, that escape would come from a new church their family attended.

"One day, in June of 1994, my mom walked in on my step-father raping me," Slusser wrote. "The feeling of doom was so thick, I was smothered by it. I was sure that my mom was going to send me away, but the next day, she went to our pastor and told him what happened. This time, the pastor called the police."

Slusser wrote that her step-father spent 10 years in prison for his crimes.

"I have survived sexual assault and rape by my biological father, uncle, half-brother, step-father and other men," Slusser recalled. "Healing started to happen as I sought out counseling."

Although she ended up marrying a man "who treated me with respect and dignity," Slusser would face another sexual assault, this time from a stranger in a home invasion.

"I did everything 'right' - I went to the hospital where we reported it to the police, and I had a rape kit done. I was offered the Morning After pill, but I declined because I knew the risks involved," Slusser wrote. "The perpetrator was never caught. My husband came home within 48 hours of the rape, and we moved to a new location for obvious reasons."

According to Slusser, the pregnancy clinic wanted her to abort the pregnancy, given that it occurred from the rape.

"I told my husband that I was pregnant, and I asked him if he would raise the child with me," Slusser wrote. "I was so scared that he might say no! He told me that just as I was a miracle, this child is also a miracle, and that he would love the child like his own."

However, that pregnancy ended up with a miscarriage, according to Slusser.

"I have had four miscarriages and the doctors told me that it was my genetic makeup due to my conception, which makes me more susceptible to miscarriages," Slusser wrote. "Gratefully, my husband and I have two healthy children together."

Slusser credited her faith in God in helping her go through the healing process from numerous sexual abuses.

"I reconciled with my biological father before he died and forgave him," Slusser wrote. "I have worked with my mom to rebuild a broken and confused relationship. I am a Christian and find my Hope in Jesus Christ."

Slusser, who has two children and has been married to her husband, Casey, for 16 years, elaborated on her future goals in life.

"This coming fall, I will be enrolled at Liberty University where I will be getting my degree in Government - Western Legal Traditions, so I may continue on to Law School," Slusser wrote. "My goal is to become a Constitutional Attorney so I can fight for the rights of the unborn, including those conceived in incest and rape."

Slusser concluded that God called her "to use my story to offer hope and healing to others, and to show His goodness" in her life.