In recent years, the values of traditional marriage and of relationships of love are confronted with enormous challenges and threats. The problems of college couples living together and having pre-marital sexual relationships have become global concerns. Few days earlier, a college student’s life magazine in China published an article titled A Transparent View of Chinese College Students Cohabitating, which covered in depth on these issues and pointed out the disturbing trend happening among college students.
This growing issue reveals the urgency and quintessential need for movements like “True Love Waits”, “Education on Chastity”, and “Say No to Pre-marital Sexual Relationships” in order to teach the youths the correct values of marriage and sex through the truth.
Cohabitation Has Become a New Fashion Statement Exemplifying Victory of Love
In the article published in My University magazine, the author brought up a noteworthy point saying that the overall attitudes of both the college students and the society towards cohabitation before marriage or pre-marital sex isn’t one of rejection or disapproval as it was years before, but, rather, it has become a new fashion statement exemplifying the youth’s victory of love. The author described this phenomenon as the “The Lust underneath the Tombstone of Love.”
A set of statistics reflects the attitude of today’s college students. In a recent research conducted by Hebei University’s professors on 12 different universities, approximately 30% of the students thinks that love isn’t something for eternity, but it is enough to have possessed it once, and as long as both party agrees, then this type of relationship should not be condemned. Furthermore, many students have an open-minded attitude toward college students living together. In the research report on 26 different high schools located throughout the China, over 60% of the students spoken to approves of pre-marital sex, which reveals an increase of 25% comparing with the figures researched ten years ago.
Damages from Cohabitation is Outweighs the Temporary Satisfaction
The change in marriage values have caused many college students to rent apartments off-campuses and to build a two people world. According to the examples shown from the report, most of the interviewed suffered damages as many of them are unprotected and lack in self-sustaining capabilities. The damages of cohabitation outweigh the temporary enjoyment.
While writing this article, the author met with many of the college students who are cohabiting. He commented that their side-tracked behaviors may bring short-term satisfaction, but it will need a long time in order for them to recover from the trauma that they may experience from failed relationships. Due to the inability to resist temptations, series of undesirable events may take place: miscarriage, abortion, college drop-out. At their age, their understanding of love and responsibility is still very insufficient. Maybe they will regret when they are faced with the consequences of their actions.
Public Recognition of Problem, Yet no Good Preventive Measures
Despite the public awareness that the consequences of cohabitation outweighs the temporarily satisfaction and have taken many preventive measures, such as high schools conducting spontaneous dormitory checks, establishing punishment measures for law-breakers. However, a director of dormitory department said that much thoughts and efforts were put into this issue to seek to resolve it, but the results were just ineffective.
Furthermore, the director further noted the two major causes for the students to cohabitate by renting off-campus apartments in order to create a two people world is because the overall culture of the society does not consider their actions as a problem and these students can peacefully accept the behaviors of those around them. Secondly, the infiltration of western influence upon the student’s thoughts have made the students view chastity as a restriction on freedom and modernism, which causes them to respond in rebellion, crossing over the restricted zones of both thoughts and traditions, and then to cohabit.
The Movement of True Love Waits and Chastity Education has Reach China
Unfortunately, something this director might not realize is that the problem of pre-marital sexual relations that his students face is not just a regional problem. Currently, numerous countries and regions are confronting the consequences brought by the destruction of values of traditional marriages and sex and love.
Many educated people are becoming aware of this phenomenon, and are beginning to take actions to tackle this problem. Movements such as the “True Love Waits” have been running for 15 years and are being promoted globally; “Ring of Chastity” movement was initiated several years ago by American high schools; Conservative religious groups also began chastity movements; Hong Kong churches together held the “Love Prayer Army” training on chastity, and etc.. They are attracting more and more participation from college students and urging more people to not be influenced by the wrong thoughts on the openness of sex, reject pre-marital sexual behaviors, and keep virginity until marriage.
Furthermore, “True Love Waits” movement has landed in China since 2004. In the series of seminars initiated by China Red Cross in 2004 titled “Heart Light Construction”, held on hundreds of campuses, several overseas marriage and love specialists taught college students how to build a health marriage and love perspective and sex and love perspective through the workshop titled “Why Should True Love Wait?”, which received wide-spread popularity.
Attacking the Excuses for Sexual Immorality from the Stance of True Love: “In the Name of Love”
Comparing with only educating people that cohabitation is wrong and it has many damages, “True Love Waits” movement is different in that it provides a deep and lively explanation of true love and the reason to wait and it is directed towards the youths who are indulged in this problem of sexual lust in the name of love.
In the seminar titled “Why True Love Waits?” held on Zhejiang University on Mar. 18, the above points are made known very clearly. The day of the seminar happened to be the 36th wedding anniversary of the speakers, who are married to each other and are specialists in marriage and love. The husband said that 36 years ago, he and his wife stepped into the wedding hall after meeting each other for 7 months with the faith that they will live together for the rest of their lives; 36 years later, today, he can proudly boast that he owns a family of blessings, and even until now, sex is still very wonderful to them.
Using his own marriage testimony, the husband shared with the students that in order to understand about sex and to experience the wonders of sex, you must first understand true love. He and his wife are blessed because they truly love each other.
He defined true love as “I love you, period”, which is love without any conditions: genuinely loving the counterpart as who they are, “even though I know you are not perfect, but I still love you”; being able to place the other as the center and to give love; it won’t blind you or make you go insane, but it can encourage the other to change because of you.
Many people have this anxiety in them, questioning whether sex and love actually relate. His wife firmly stated that they are directly connected. Sex is the union between two people who truly love each other and it is also the extension of the promise towards each other. She further pointed out that sex is wonderful, but this doesn’t mean that one should treat sex recklessly for it is a very solemn thing based upon trust and promise, and it adds a sense responsibility of love.
If I need to tear apart two pieces of paper that are stuck together, then obviously, one of the two will be torn apart!”Comparing it with real relationships, if you don’t have wait for your true love patiently, then when the end of the failed relationship comes, you might be the one who is torn apart, his wife concluded.