American comic legend Bill Cosby has faced accusations of sexual assault by multiple women. Now a former Hollywood film executive has come forward with similar accusations.
According to an essay published in the Huffington Post, Cindra Ladd, a philanthropist who is married to Oscar-winning producer Alan Ladd Jr., accused Cosby of sexually assaulting her back in 1969. Although the alleged incident happened a long time ago, she did her best to recall what supposedly happened between Cosby and her.
"For more than 45 years I have tried to recall exactly what happened that night," Ladd wrote. "To this day it remains a blur. I have a vague recollection of feeling like I was floating while walking through Times Square and watching some kind of Japanese samurai movie with him."
However, she claimed to remember one vivid detail from that night.
"What I do recall, vividly and clearly, is waking up the next morning nude in the bed of his friend's apartment and seeing Cosby wearing a white terrycloth bathrobe and acting as if there was nothing unusual," Ladd wrote. "It was obvious to me that he had had sex with me. I was horrified, embarrassed and ashamed."
Ladd did admit that she was a fan of "The Cosby Show" and Cosby's character, Dr. Cliff Huxtable. However, she was unable to reconcile his squeaky-clean image with her alleged encounter.
"Those who suffer from these types of assaults know the prison of shame, bewilderment and disbelief," Ladd wrote. "Like so many victims, my way of coping was to shove the memory into the back of my mind."
Related: New Sundance Documentary 'The Hunting Ground' Reveals Shocking Rise of Sexual Assault on Campuses
The former film executive added that this would be the only time she would publicly address the alleged incident. Anticipating a potential backlash on why she's only speaking out just now, Ladd wrote that "it's the right thing to do" and "the truth deserves to be known."
"I have no plans to sue, I don't want or need money," Ladd wrote. "I have no plans for a press conference or for doing any interviews."
Ladd added that although she could have shared her story years ago in hindsight, she wanted "to finally pull the curtain back from this dark moment in my life."
"After having done a lot of work on myself, I realize that we are only as sick as the secrets we keep," Ladd wrote. "Once those secrets are spoken aloud, even if to just one person, they lose their power. I no longer feel the shame that kept me silent."
Sexual allegations aside, Carlos Lozada of the Washington Post dug up one of Cosby's old books that focused on love, sex and family; one of them was entitled "Time Flies." Although there was still some humor in them, Lozada found the books "mostly creepy."
"Just as I no longer can go one-on-one in basketball the way I once did, I also lack the stamina to go one-on-one in bed the way I did in my salad days," Cosby wrote, claiming he was no longer into sex anymore. "I am actually in tune with the times, for recent surveys have revealed that most women would rather cuddle than have sex, and I am the Clark Gable of cuddlers."
Although the books, which also included "Fatherhood" and "Love and Marriage," presented a "heavily sanitized" version of Cosby, Lozada argued that the comedian's writings revealed a lot about his personal life.
"Lurking among the laugh lines and life lessons is an intensely vain man, fixated on sex; a man for whom women can stir violence or desire; a man seeking to appease his wife while remaining aware of his darker appetites," Lozada wrote.
However, Lozada cautioned that he is not judging Cosby based on the content in the books. He did note that the content does not absolve the comedian of the allegations either.
"It would be too much to say that these pages foreshadow the accusations before Cosby today - they don't," Lozada wrote. "But they don't really contradict them, either."
According to Lauren Moraski of CBS News, Cosby has not publicly addressed or responded to any of the sexual allegations against him so far, aside from making a joke about the allegations in a recent stand-up gig.
