Rory Feek Honors Late Wife Joey Feek in Emotional Mother's Day Post: 'She is Still Indy's Mama'

( [email protected] ) May 10, 2016 12:27 PM EDT
Less than three months after Joey Feek entered into the arms of Jesus, Christian country singer Rory Feek reflected on his wife's legacy as he and his family celebrated their first Mother's Day without her.
The late Joey Feek pictured with her daughter, Indiana Feek. Photo Credit: Rory Feek, This Life I Live

Less than three months after Joey Feek entered into the arms of Jesus, Christian country singer Rory Feek reflected on his wife's legacy as he and his family celebrated their first Mother's Day without her.

In a blog post on his website, This Life I Live, Rory, 51, revealed that for many years, he was a single father to eldest daughters Heidi and Hope before he met Joey.

"I can't tell you I was a great father," he wrote. "I tried. I think was a good father, but the truth is I was still a young man struggling to find myself, while the girls were growing and finding out who they were. I made so many mistakes and was so selfish. At times I was more concerned about being a great songwriter than being a great father. In a lot of ways, I think the girls raised me while I was raising them. But they were so forgiving and loved me unconditionally. They still do."

Several years later, Rory later met Joey and she acted as a step-mother to Heidi and Hope, who are both now in their late 20s.

"For years after Joey and I got married, I dreamed that God might bless her and me with a baby," he wrote. "A baby that we could love and cherish and raise together.  A child that was part her, part me, and all Him.  And part of that dream was that I might be given a second chance at being a father."

God answered Rory's prayers, and in February 2014, the couple welcomed daughter Indiana, who was born with Down's Syndrome: "It was a dream come true in more ways than most people know," Rory recalled of his daughter's birth.

However, shortly after Indy's birth, Joey learned that she had incurable cervical cancer.

"When Joey and I found out that the treatments weren't working and that more-than-likely, she wasn't going to live to see another spring... Joey sat beside me on a glider on our back deck and cried and cried," Rory wrote. "But not because of the news that the cancer had spread and there was nothing more the doctors could do. She cried because Indy was going to lose her mama, and I was going to be a single father again.

"Joey knew how hard it had been for us for all those years before she came along and she was upset that she was going to leave me in the same situation," he continued. "I remember her tears falling and her saying, 'I don't want you to have to raise a child again by yourself... it's not fair.' Though I was worried about the reality of what was probably in our future, I tried to smile as I wiped Joey's tears and said, 'It's okay honey ... now we know why God chose me to be with you.'

"I realized then that God knew what was in store and all those years by myself with the girls was Him preparing me for the job of caring for Indiana".

"Though my beautiful wife sleeps in a bed of clover behind our farmhouse, we still celebrate her on this special day and lift her up and give her flowers," Rory wrote. "This is not my day. It is hers. Joey loved being a mother more than anything else in the world. And she is still Indy's mama. And Heidi's and Hopie's."

In an earlier blog post, Rory revealed that since Joey's death, Indy hasn't asked for her mother "one single time," which is both "sad and wonderful" at the same time.

Rory said that while his daughter "doesn't quite understand what has happened" to her mother right now, but as she grows older, will realize the impact Joey had on the world around her.

"She may not realize right now how incredible her mama is, but she will," Rory wrote. "I have made a career out of documenting our lives, and her mother ... with songs and video and pictures and they are everywhere. I will play them for her."

While mourning the loss of his wife and country music partner, Rory recently said he is determined to continue living a joyful life, trusting God for his family's future.

"Just because things don't work out the way that you hoped they would, doesn't mean that God isn't still in charge," he told Billboard earlier this week. "It's still his plans and not ours, so I don't feel like my faith has wavered at all."